1
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:06,772
- Oh, wow.
- What are you looking at?
2
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:10,609
The pictures of the surface of
Neptune seen from Voyager 2.
3
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,211
Oh, let me see.
4
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:17,483
Well, the place looks
undeveloped.
5
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:18,917
It is.
6
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,819
Well, that's the last time
I buy property
7
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,956
without visiting it first.
8
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:27,059
Can't you find something else
to do?
9
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:30,863
Well, right now, I'm living
up to my full potential.
10
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,432
- Oh, no.
- What is it, hon?
11
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,835
We got another dinner party
invitation.
12
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,772
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
13
00:00:39,774 --> 00:00:42,441
- We like the Andersons too.
- Yeah.
14
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,777
Willie, if it's a date thing,
I'll go.
15
00:00:44,779 --> 00:00:47,079
I'll throw on one of Kate's
cheap dresses.
16
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,580
They'll never know.
17
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,786
I feel bad that we're constantly
invited to parties
18
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:56,155
and can't return the favors.
19
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:59,691
Well, if you would tidy up
around here once in a while
20
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,394
you wouldn't be so embarrassed
to have people over.
21
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,999
Remember the good old days when
we used to, uh,
22
00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:09,802
go over to other people's houses
and accept their hospitality
23
00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:12,171
and we'd say,
"Next week at our place"
24
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,339
and then we'd actually do it?
25
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,842
How naive of us to think that
an alien wouldn't come along
26
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:20,279
and alter our lives forever.
27
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,848
Ain't life funny?
28
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:27,219
Oh, what the heck, Kate?
Let's throw a party.
29
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:30,489
Oh, I don't know, Willie.
What about you-know-who?
30
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:34,059
Brian? Don't worry.
I'll have a talk with him.
31
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:38,097
[theme music]
32
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,930
[music continues]
33
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:37,856
[instrumental music]
34
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:42,628
Now, before we discuss food,
we must first plan a theme
35
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,263
for your party.
Have you thought of one?
36
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:47,599
Well, uh, what would you
suggest, Mr. Savage?
37
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:50,235
Well, let's see. This is a
make-good party, am I right?
38
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:51,603
You really don't want to have it
39
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:54,106
but you feel you must. Correct?
40
00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:55,407
[phone ringing]
41
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:59,044
Well, yeah. But, uh that..
42
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,846
That's not really a theme,
is it?
43
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,148
Well, it's been done.
44
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:06,618
- Hello?
- Make it a luau.
45
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:10,289
- ALF? Where are you?
- In the kitchen.
46
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,657
Did you know
there's a number you can dial
47
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:14,560
that makes your own phone ring?
Groovy, huh?
48
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,763
What do you want?
49
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:21,233
Be smart, Willie. Think luau.
50
00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:29,274
[sighs]
Sorry. Wrong number.
51
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:33,812
Uh, ahem, however,
just out of curiosity, um
52
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,281
what would you think about
having a luau?
53
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,317
- That's perfect.
- Really? You think so?
54
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:41,420
Oh, sure. Luaus are cheap,
lots of poi, pineapple
55
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,655
tiki torches, Don Ho music.
56
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:47,893
And I think we could probably
squeeze by with just one pig.
57
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,127
[phone rings]
58
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:54,132
- Yes?
- Two pigs.
59
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:59,371
- What now?
- Oh, nothing.
60
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:03,275
Another wrong number.
It's a regular epidemic.
61
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,847
However, a question has come up.
62
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,617
Do you think
one pig would be enough?
63
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:15,354
Well, that depends on the pig.
64
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:18,323
Well, uh,
what do you think, honey?
65
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:21,560
- Hey, let's go for it.
- Well, fine, Mr. Savage.
66
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:24,029
- We'll go with the luau idea.
- Perfect.
67
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:27,099
Leave everything to me,
by this time next Saturday night
68
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:32,404
you'll think you've just died
and gone to Maui. Aloha.
69
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,006
Ha, bye, bye.
70
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:36,041
[both laugh]
71
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:39,711
¶ Oh we're going to a hukilau ¶
72
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:44,082
¶ Huki huki huki huki
huki hukilau ¶¶
73
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,352
I wanna thank you in advance
for your cooperation
74
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,755
while we're giving our party.
75
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,557
Sure. What do you want me to do?
76
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,559
Not come.
77
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:58,964
I think Mother Teresa put it
best when she said
78
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:02,501
"You scratch my back,
I scratch yours."
79
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:05,037
Which, loosely translated,
means--
80
00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:08,307
- I know what that means.
- It's happening.
81
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:10,742
He's going to ruin everything.
82
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,778
Well, that's up to you,
isn't it?
83
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,447
My cooperation can be bought
84
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:21,219
if you agree to the following
harsh and unreasonable demands..
85
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:27,292
One, I want my subscription
to the Village Voice renewed.
86
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:29,528
We can do that.
87
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,898
Two, I want the ozone layer
restored.
88
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,536
ALF, we can't do that
by Saturday.
89
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:42,107
Alright, fine.
That was just a bargaining chip.
90
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:48,080
Three, I get all leftovers,
including what's in the trash.
91
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:51,583
This area is not negotiable.
92
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:54,052
[sighs]
ALF, can't you just for once
93
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:58,557
do something for no other reason
than that we asked you?
94
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,192
[laughing]
95
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:05,464
Oh, that's a good one.
So do we have a deal?
96
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,267
I'll tell you what we'll do.
97
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,803
If you agree to stay up
in the attic and be quiet
98
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,506
while we're having our party,
then you can have two hours
99
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:17,743
to forage
and devour the carcass.
100
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:22,547
You're a just, fair, honorable
man. Let's shake on it.
101
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:29,488
Oh, I saw that on Webster once.
Cracked me up.
102
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:34,359
[instrumental music]
103
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,833
So, Willie, got any big plans
for this weekend?
104
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,770
Well, no, no, not really.
Uh, no, Delores.
105
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,339
- Any-any reason you ask?
- No.
106
00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:50,342
Oh, by the way,
your caterer called.
107
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:53,145
He said everything's set
for the big luau.
108
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:56,381
Well, have a nice day.
109
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:59,017
Oh, you mean besides that. Uh--
110
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:02,020
Yeah, Kate and I are having
a-a small gathering
111
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,589
for, uh, people
we have obligations to.
112
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,558
Oh, I see.
113
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,393
What about when I drove you home
that time and gave you
114
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,961
a coke and a cracker?
115
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,300
How could that have slipped my
mind?
116
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:18,770
You're having a party? Ha.
117
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,505
You never invite people
to your house.
118
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:21,740
What is this, a sick joke?
119
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:24,676
That's what I thought at first.
120
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:28,447
Uh, like I was telling Delores
uh, we are having a,
121
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,349
uh, gathering
to pay back some social debts
122
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,785
that we have to people who've
invited us to their parties.
123
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,854
Oh, you mean like the party
we threw for your birthday
124
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:39,157
with the white cake and punch
that everyone chipped in on?
125
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,096
That was a good cake.
126
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:48,099
Alright, ha, ha. Everybody.
127
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,902
Everybody's invited.
128
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,771
Is that because
you really want us
129
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:55,974
or because you're embarrassed
and on the spot?
130
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,276
- Does it matter?
- Not to me.
131
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:02,814
Guess what, everybody,
Willie's having a party.
132
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,749
- 'What?'
- 'Run that by me again.'
133
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,318
(male
'What's the punch line?'
134
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:11,256
[instrumental music]
135
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,732
Lynnie, I don't like the looks
of these clouds.
136
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,768
Mom, will you relax? There was
nothing on the weather report.
137
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,471
Oh, just think, people are
actually going to be able to say
138
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,707
they've been to our house.
139
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:31,877
Doesn't take much to get us
excited anymore, does it?
140
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:38,149
[sniffing]
141
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:42,621
Agh, that pig aroma
is driving me crazy.
142
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,789
I think it looks gross.
143
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:48,793
Good. Go down and tell that
to the other guests.
144
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:51,596
Mom told me you might go
a little crazy tonight.
145
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,734
Is undressing pork
with your eyes crazy?
146
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:02,774
Look at those vultures down
there hovering over my pig.
147
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:05,243
That's what you get
for inviting civil servants.
148
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,547
Get away from the pig.
149
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,752
- Lovely party so far, yes?
- Very.
150
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:16,021
Uh, but how is the pig coming?
151
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:19,558
Slow. They're hard to judge.
No two pigs are alike, you know.
152
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:25,030
Uh, Rex, there's a call for you.
Someone named James.
153
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,198
He said it was important.
154
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,069
James, yes. That's my, uh,
ahem, pastry chef.
155
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,437
Can I take this in the bedroom?
156
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:33,538
Sure.
157
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,878
Raquel, Trevor,
glad you could come.
158
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,813
- How you doing?
- Our pleasure.
159
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,348
Trevor thought
you were playing a trick on us
160
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,883
when we got our invitation.
161
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,318
[Trevor laughs]
162
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,021
Oh, Trevor, look, a whole pig.
163
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,624
I told you
they leave the face on.
164
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:56,494
- Ah, Tanner.
- Hello, Mr. Rasmussen.
165
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,797
I hope you don't mind,
I brought my son, Julius.
166
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,900
He just bought himself
a small BMW.
167
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,668
Isn't that nice?
168
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,403
- You remember Kate.
- Good to see you.
169
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,038
- Hello.
- This is my daughter, Lynn.
170
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,040
- Hi. It's nice to meet you.
- Hello.
171
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:12,644
I haven't been to a party since
my dad took me to the last one.
172
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:16,014
Oh, is that right?
173
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,850
Ahem, I-I think we should leave
these two kids alone.
174
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,456
[exhales]
175
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:27,726
You seem to have something
stuck on your shirt.
176
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:31,663
Oh, it's wax.
It's been a madhouse at work.
177
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:34,099
Oh, you work with wax.
Are you a sculptor?
178
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,434
In a way. I'm a mortician.
179
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,071
That's interesting.
180
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:43,141
Oh, not always,
but today was a good day.
181
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:47,445
A tour bus tried to outrun
a train. Not even close.
182
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,648
So can I get you something
to eat?
183
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,387
Willie? Willie,
who are those people?
184
00:10:55,389 --> 00:11:00,025
Oh, that's our Xerox repairman
and, uh, that's his wife, um.
185
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:03,662
Uh.. Ah, who cares?
186
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:06,064
Willie, I'm worried we're not
gonna have enough food.
187
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,767
Oh, Rex, is it too late
to order another pig?
188
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:12,003
Grab hold, Mrs. Tanner.
Pigs don't grow on trees.
189
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,939
Besides, one will go much
further than you think
190
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:18,677
trust me. I love this outfit.
Both of you.
191
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,381
Oh, come on, Kate.
192
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:26,217
We've been looking forward to
this for four years.
193
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,987
Besides, look around.
People seem to be happy enough.
194
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,488
Yeah, I guess you're right.
195
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,323
Oh, I'm gonna go say hi
to your janitor.
196
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,159
[thunder rumbling]
197
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:46,371
Oh, no!
Raindrops are falling on my pig!
198
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,744
[instrumental music]
199
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:02,153
I just wanted to have a party.
Was that so wrong?
200
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:05,056
Oh. Is the pig
gonna be alright?
201
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,025
The pig is dead. Accept it.
202
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:10,028
Well, just do what you can,
okay?
203
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,797
Had you thought of any
contingency plans?
204
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,833
Well, let's see,
some of the guests were talking
205
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:17,168
about going to a movie later.
206
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:20,572
But if you like, I suppose
I could have my assistant
207
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,307
entertain for the crowd.
208
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:25,744
Fine. Yeah, fine. Go ahead.
209
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:30,515
Did you know that when we bury
people, we wire their jaws shut
210
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:34,652
and use plastic clips
to keep their eyes closed?
211
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:37,021
But I go on.
212
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:39,023
[sighs]
I'm sorry.
213
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:42,127
People tell me I shouldn't take
my work home with me.
214
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:45,997
[laughing]
215
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,766
Gotcha.
216
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:53,404
It looks like your daughter
is taken with my son.
217
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,040
Well, this is his second party,
you know.
218
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:59,444
Really? I would've guessed
twice that.
219
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:05,350
Robert.
220
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,253
You're on, kid. You're going out
there a caterer's assistant
221
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,388
but you're coming back a star.
222
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,725
[instrumental music]
223
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:16,494
You can't do that in this house.
Are you crazy?
224
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:19,631
Oh, come on, Tanner.
Didn't you ever have a dream?
225
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,135
Listen, I've had some experience
with fire in this house.
226
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,571
I know what the limits are.
227
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:30,341
- You-you've gotta put that out.
- Aww.
228
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,345
Very well. Fine, fine.
229
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:38,016
I guess my crying time will just
come a little early tonight.
230
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,358
[sighs]
231
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,133
[ALF screams]
232
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,306
[instrumental music]
233
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:06,644
I can't believe
you'd pull a stunt like that.
234
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:09,314
- Does it hurt very much?
- Only when I burp.
235
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:12,684
[burps]
Ow!
236
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,752
Why did you ever leave
the attic?
237
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:19,324
Because you lied, you...
you liar.
238
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:23,294
[burps]
Ow! Oh, it hurts so bad.
239
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,431
- I never lied to you.
- Yes, you did.
240
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:29,601
You said I could have leftovers.
There won't be any.
241
00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:32,637
You said I could watch the
party. You moved it inside.
242
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,139
Well, how was I supposed to know
it was gonna rain?
243
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,142
A good host would know.
244
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:41,379
Listen, we made a deal.
I expect you to live up to it.
245
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,015
Now, you stay here,
right here in the shed
246
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,451
and don't move
or you get nothing.
247
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:48,486
That's non-negotiable.
248
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,288
- Yes, sir.
- Good.
249
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,360
He never learns.
250
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,495
[burps]
Ow! Ow! Ow!
251
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,699
Do you think there's really
such thing as zombies?
252
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,502
You're at this party
and you have to ask?
253
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,838
Could I watch you work sometime?
254
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:11,442
Sure. Come by Labor Day weekend.
That's like our Christmas.
255
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,877
Great.
256
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:15,813
Hon?
257
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,151
How's it going in here?
258
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,687
I'm thinking about going to the
movies with the other guests.
259
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,791
They're easier to catch
when they're lit.
260
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,065
[sniffing]
261
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:40,471
See the pig, take the pig.
262
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,043
Listen, I know
it's not part of my fee
263
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:47,412
but I have a couple ideas
that might liven things
264
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:48,680
up a little bit.
265
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:50,348
Well, good. What are they?
266
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:54,018
One is an imitation
of Bette Davis in Baby Jane.
267
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:57,622
[as Davis]
"Blanche, you didn't eat
your lunch."
268
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,659
We'll take the other one.
269
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,295
[sighs]
270
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,965
Very well. Alright.
271
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:09,033
Everybody, conga.
272
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:11,803
- Somebody grab my butt.
- Ooh.
273
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,538
[conga music on radio]
274
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:23,047
Hey, how's it going, George?
275
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,718
I don't know if it's
what you put in the punch
276
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:30,788
but I swear I saw your dog
making himself a sandwich.
277
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:37,762
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
He can't even catch a Frisbee.
278
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,764
It must be the excitement.
279
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,466
Why don't you join
the conga line?
280
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:45,436
What the heck? The movie doesn't
start for about half an hour.
281
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,805
[whistling]
282
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,979
[music continues]
283
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:13,431
Ugh! Oh, Willie,
it's not my fault.
284
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:16,901
It was that devil music.
It called to me.
285
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,003
Suddenly I was burning
with passion
286
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:22,073
desperately longing
for a Carmen Miranda hat
287
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,809
the kind with fruit.
288
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:27,345
- Uh-huh.
- Ugh.
289
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:31,349
You can't be trusted, pal.
This is for your own good.
290
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:34,652
Ha! There isn't a garden shed
in this town that could hold me.
291
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:37,855
[humming conga music]
292
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:42,026
[burps]
Ow! Oh. Ooh. Ugh.
293
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:48,366
Oh, I see you decided to escape
too, huh? I don't blame you.
294
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:52,103
I think I've heard all the tales
from the crypt I can stand.
295
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,405
Where's Julius now?
296
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,008
He's hanging out
with the older guests.
297
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:01,245
- I guess I better go back in.
- Okay.
298
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,648
By the way,
ALF is tied up in the shed.
299
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,149
Okay.
300
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,020
- Hi.
- Hi.
301
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:11,789
Turned out to be a pretty nice
evening after all, didn't it?
302
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,691
Extremely nice.
303
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:16,327
I never got a chance to
introduce myself. I'm Robert.
304
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:19,030
Robert, hi. I'm Lynn.
305
00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,933
Your, uh, boyfriend seems nice.
306
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:24,335
- Oh, he's not my boyfriend.
- Praise Allah.
307
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,237
I knew it didn't add up.
308
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:32,577
[grunts]
If David Copperfield could do
this, how hard could it be?
309
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:37,081
I've been desperately hoping
his beeper would go off.
310
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:40,184
I'm kind of in between
boyfriends right now.
311
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:42,653
Oh, yeah. Like I'm between jobs.
312
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,890
Probably look
pretty ridiculous, right?
313
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,992
No.
314
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,928
I've always been a sucker
for a man in uniform.
315
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,230
[ALF burps]
'Ow!'
316
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:55,533
Ahem. Excuse me.
317
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,368
So how long have you been
catering?
318
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,070
Oh, I just help out Rex.
319
00:18:59,072 --> 00:19:00,872
Actually, I spend
most of my time
320
00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:03,007
as a street performer
at the beach.
321
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,076
Do you do anything
besides twirl?
322
00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:07,278
Um, I read minds.
323
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,580
And you thought Julius
was my boyfriend?
324
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:12,083
[scoffs]
You must not be very good.
325
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:14,619
I knew you were gonna say that.
Really, I did.
326
00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:19,891
- Goodbye.
- Goodnight, George.
327
00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:21,359
- Goodnight.
- Oh, George.
328
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,027
Thank you so much for coming.
329
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:26,030
Your husband thinks I'm crazy,
but I know what I saw.
330
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:29,000
Your dog knows
how to make a sandwich.
331
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,969
You should try to get him
on "Letterman."
332
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:34,772
We would,
but Paul Shaffer scares him.
333
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,412
Didn't you want
to say goodbye to Lynn?
334
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:44,315
No, she's too desperate.
335
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,983
I want a girl that wants me
for me
336
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,786
not because I have
a glamorous job.
337
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:52,089
- Well, if you can find one.
- Goodnight.
338
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:53,324
You got my card, right?
339
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,759
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
340
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:57,495
- Thanks for coming.
- Nice party. Uh.
341
00:19:57,497 --> 00:20:00,331
Sorry about the carpet.
Julius never had poi before.
342
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:04,902
Don't worry about it.
See you Monday.
343
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:11,342
Do you think people had fun?
Oh, who cares?
344
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,244
We bought ourselves
four more years.
345
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:19,116
Well, we're all done cleaning
up. Thanks again for using us.
346
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:22,153
Oh, and if that no-good pastry
chef of mine calls again
347
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:25,590
you can tell him to drop dead.
Come on, Robert.
348
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:26,857
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
349
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,793
- I'll call.
- I'll answer.
350
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,261
I'll puke.
351
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,031
How did you get out of the shed?
352
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,367
I think the important thing
to remember
353
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,936
is how much fun
you had building it.
354
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:43,541
And to hold on tight
to your pacifist beliefs.
355
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,644
What's happened to my shed?
356
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:52,550
Oh, we're past that.
Now, take me to my pig.
357
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,685
There is no pig.
358
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,721
What?
359
00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:59,690
You heard me. There are no
leftovers. The pig is gone.
360
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,326
[mimics Porky Pig stuttering]
That's all, folks.
361
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:08,032
Oh, great. Fine. Terrific.
362
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:09,834
I wouldn't have had this problem
363
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:12,270
if more of your friends
kept kosher.
364
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,939
Huh.
365
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:18,676
[instrumental music]
366
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:23,881
Oh, hey,
we got a thank-you note.
367
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:26,117
- Oh.
- It's from Pat and Cecile.
368
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,019
They said they had
a very nice time.
369
00:21:28,021 --> 00:21:31,889
Oh, well, how thoughtful.
Who are Pat and Cecile?
370
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:35,459
I don't know.
I thought you knew.
371
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:39,297
Well, that was certainly
worth $1200.
372
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:44,368
Robert has the sweetest way
of asking a girl out.
373
00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:46,037
Really? What did he say?
374
00:21:46,039 --> 00:21:48,739
He said, "It was a slow day
on the pier.
375
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:50,941
You want to treat me
to a movie?"
376
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,276
If you play your cards right
377
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:55,112
maybe next time
you can buy him dinner.
378
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:58,616
ALF, there's more to
relationships than money.
379
00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:01,218
Yeah, but should you be talking
about that stuff
380
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,853
in front of your parents?
381
00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:06,657
Ha. I think not.
382
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:10,428
[instrumental music]
383
00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:15,132
[theme music]
384
00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:42,360
[ALF laughing]